Real Players

Written : 24 February 2009


Perhaps one of the greatest mistakes you can ever make and after the long run, learn and accept in life is to incessantly fear you will make one. 


I am always fond of testing my capability. I have been an assessor of myself, sometimes criticize, but most of the time encourage. I believe that even if everybody else around throw negative reprimand against me, I won’t hold back… Why would I? As long as I trust I can do it, no amount of denigration can stop me or turn me into a sinister…
Never had a night that I fell asleep without talking to myself. Judgment of others is just too little to stain a very essential spirit inside me — my character. And at the end of the day, the real and ultimate judge would be no one else but your own self.

I’ve been rejected a million times, from the smallest contest to a spectacular competition. But those rejections never came up to my head as a thing to destroy me. I know that whatever happens you must not give up on your own ability and what you can do. Life, regardless of how long will it be depends only on how you make it more meaningful. You can abbreviate it or otherwise, expand it. I prefer the latter one... It’s my commitment to myself.

So many people I’ve encountered, some I’ve got the privilege to know deeply, and some just passing by along me loses hope long before life gave up on them. They died many times before their deaths… My prayers are for them though I don’t think I’m in the position to lay judgment on them. They decide them for themselves. I just felt sorry not knowing they can still do so much with their lives… I never want to be in such despair. My life will not be permanently stagnant. My life will vary according to how I choose it to flow better than anyone expect it to. I’m doing something for myself… Part of me are made by words from people around me. But that’s not entirely my whole. I refused to be a product of somebody else’s vision of what they wish to be for their own selves. I am a creation of myself.

And whenever critics once again chuck several pieces of unseemly words against me, most are rude and indecorous, some are fake and others with which I still have to examine a million fold its sincerity, who the hell cares? I have been at ease with myself even before someone ever learned they can elevate themselves by putting me down. I had fears. Everyone has. As of now, I still have a lot of them. But I develop more courage with every time I feel scared. For only in doing those things you’re afraid of, enters courage. You can never have bravery if you don’t have something to fear…

And who has the guts to question me of my way of conquering and surviving life? I have the power over nothing but myself... Right now, I’m still battling with insecurities, uncertainties and very so often, fear. But I’m very much eager to gamble once again, always been willing to go and take my chance again.

As a final cut, in this game called life real players take part — chances maybe slim or stout. All you have to do is partake… because in the end of it all, win or lose, you may not have took home the price but in its place you’ll be grasping your head high discerning for yourself that you never quit a match wherein far beyond easier to give up than be wounded and fight…