Haven on Earth

     Blood will always be thicker than any other thing...

                      

   

The happiest moments of my life have been the times I spent at home, in the bosom of my family. I may always seek fun and enjoyment during my adventures outside to find refuge away from stress, but at the end of the night I knew I'd be coming back to the place where my heart really is... at home...

                               

  

                                       

                                      

An environment which prospers values with an atmosphere that appreciates individual differences, tolerates mistakes, unbolts communication and stretches rules and standards. The kind of feeling you can only find nowhere else but inside a home of a nurturing family.

  

                                        

                                                    

                                         

                                                       

                                                     

 My family has always been and will forever be my shelter. And my home is my safest haven here on earth...

Mysteries^-^

Sometimes a lot of mysteries unfold right before our very eyes without our knowledge. Or maybe we’re just too busy not to identify all of them. Everyday of our lives, we encounter ambiguities, miracles or at least extraordinary happenings. Fortuitous events that occur during an unexpected time and place, a confusing puzzle waiting to be unravel or just mere co-incidents, they all have one thing in common; they leave us all in question, in an enigma…

Fond of taking pictures of mountains and fields alongside when we captured this face of a blonde-hair boy (encircled on top left of the picture).

Looks like impossible to get in through this tiny cave. I did... Scary inside but fun, there are parts where you have to crawl just to pass through.

 

@ Pinagrealan Cave, Norzagaray

 

The mudspring is approximately 4.4 km from the foot of the mountain. Nearly approaching this spring, I slipped on a small rock leading me to slide a few distance on my right. A few steps more and i'll be on my corpse falling down of the mount. Too fortunate, I was ahead of my travel companion enabling him to rescue my hand as fast as he could.

 

  

The dog behind me served as our tour guide while trekking the Mt. Banahaw. He led us along the way and whenever we were uncertain of which way to turn, he swiftly ran forward then look at us signalling that "this way is safe"...

  

Mysteries live among us, it maybe something we know anything of, but definitely not something we can know everything about. Confusing? Well, if everything can be grasped by anyone, life will no longer be wonderful…

-Niar-

Written : 13 April 2010

Rain…

An unusual sentiment of the weather has awaken me this morning. It was the first time to rain since summer has started. I was once told about the effect of weather on people’s moods and emotions. I have a certain feel of subtle sadness when it rain. As if every downpour compensates a drop of tear. And suddenly I was reminded of a “fight” that now seems to end us and the relationship built by love and trust. It was a real heavy feeling waking up like the world conspired and turned up against you. I know today is the beginning of a new chapter, and ending of a part of my life that’s so special. I know today is my doomsday, the moment when I have to say “wo ai ni” for the last time. In addition to that, it’s raining.

I have been pre-occupied with a lot of thoughts coming into my head since yesterday. It has been hours that I can’t help but wonder and seek for what’s the good in all of these? “Is it really worth it?” My mind has nothing to mumble but only one word  yes. Fixing your mind, heart and soul on something that’ll about to take place is never easy. How can you prepare when it happened so sudden? How can you say goodbye to someone you can’t take letting go? How can you tell your mind that it’s falling apart and is nearly over? How can u separate yourself to someone when even a single minute without him feels hell? What more a lifetime apart from him? I have been crying last night as a child deprived of his right to be happy. And for me, my happiness is the person I thought I already lost.

As darkness fills the shady sky that morning, so is my heart. Filled with pain and loneliness, it became hard for me to go on and continue the fight. I want to walk in the rain so people won’t see my tears. However, I have decided to give it a last shot anyway. If it didn’t work out for me, at least I know it’s something worth trying… Hard I know to open another chance for us for it also means opening another opportunity to get hurt. Another possibility to shed tears and another reason to blame rain…. But is there anything harder than seeing the most significant person in your life departing right before your very eyes? Unthinkable, unimaginable, unbearable…

Rainbow, indeed is the best part of rain. A sigh of relief after the struggle brought about by the storms of life. I’d be very glad to withstand the change of weathers if only sun would shine on me again. Before it’s too late that I already hate the entire idea of rain in my life, hopefully I can see that rainbow of happiness closer as each day rises, sooner than forever...

The 3 o'clock prayer

Written : 25 January 2010

It was first introduced by our boss at my office a few years back. He instructed us to pray it every 3 o’clock in the afternoon during office hours. I never heard of the prayer beforehand so I researched about it. I found out a lot about that certain prayer. Those divine mercy chaplet prayer were the exact words by Jesus Christ who appeared to Saint Faustina. The latter wrote it down as a prayer and tell everyone she knows of her story and the prayer behind it. According to Jesus, this prayer should be said during the hour of mercy which is every 3 o’clock. Whoever prays for it shall have divine mercy, even in his dying bed. When someone prays it, even once in his whole life, his soul will be saved and on his death, God will appear to him not as a just Judge but as a merciful Savior…

I, personally has been a devotee of saints. St. Lorenzo Ruiz, Saint Faustina, St. Thomas, St. Paul, St. Rose of Lima and even those who haven’t been beatified yet like Blessed Margaret and our very own, Blessed Pedro Calungsod.

Prayer is our communication with God. It is our main line to him. Direct, unlimited, no service charge, no interruptions, no connection error and no need to load all the time. I may not be the most religious teenage girl around, I do sins and sometimes forget to ask penance, I skip rosaries at times and even miss out masses for certain occasions. But as a sinner, I am accountable for that. What I know that matters now is the fact that I am doing something for my reconciliation with God, with my salvation, for my soul’s redemption.

Here it goes the prayer I get used to praying every 3 pm for years now…

1. In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with you. Blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

2. I believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth. And in Jesus Christ, his only son our Lord. He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified died and was buried. He descended into hell, on the 3rd day he rose again from the dead. He ascended into heaven, seated at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty. He shall come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic church. The communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

3. (Pray this like the Our Father in the rosary)
Eternal father, I offer you the body and blood, soul and divinity of our dearly beloved son, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

4. (Pray this like the Hail Mary in the rosary)
For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and the whole world. (Repeat ten times)

Repeat number 3 and 4 five times just like the decades of the rosary.

 Holy God, Holy Mighty one, Holy immortal one, have mercy on us and the whole world. (Repeat three times)

You expired Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls, and the ocean of mercy open up for the whole world. Oh fountain of life, unfathomable divine mercy, envelop the whole world and empty yourself out upon us. Oh blood and water which gushed forth from the heart of Jesus, as a fount of mercy for us, we trust in you.


Continue praying this as long as you live and you will receive eternal salvation.

Whoever gathers and pray in my name, I tell you. I am with them.


In 1933, God gave Sister Faustina a striking vision of His Mercy,

"I saw a great light, with God the Father in the midst of it. Between this light and the earth I saw Jesus nailed to the Cross and in such a way that God, wanting to look upon the earth, had to look through Our Lord's wounds and I understood that God blessed the earth for the sake of Jesus."

Of another vision on Sept. 13, 1935, she writes:
"I saw an Angel, the executor of God's wrath... about to strike the earth...I began to beg God earnestly for the world with words which I heard interiorly. As I prayed in this way, I saw the Angel's helplessness, and he could not carry out the just punishment...."

Jesus said later to Sister Faustina:
"Say unceasingly this chaplet that I have taught you. Anyone who says it will receive great Mercy at the hour of death. Priests will recommend it to sinners as the last hope. Even the most hardened sinner, if he recites this Chaplet even once, will receive grace from My Infinite Mercy. I want the whole world to know My Infinite Mercy. I want to give unimaginable graces to those who trust in My Mercy...."
"....When they say this Chaplet in the presence of the dying, I will stand between My Father and the dying person not as the just judge but as the Merciful Savior".

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, ...teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always till the close of the age.” -- MATTHEW 28:20

My Real Judge

Written : 27 October 2009
Somehow, compound years of existence has been a profitable and exciting one. Though the ride was never easy, and sometimes, even gripping the idea of not waking up the next day and still happy thinking ‘bout it, I never had the spare time to wonder why it all had to happen.. Technically, God has never been “that generous” to me unlike some lucky fellows there who seems to be endowed by fate anything they ever wished for in living. But I just love each thing he has provided me. He never made me perfect. Moreover, made me feel blessed and contented with myself… And it has taken me over years to fully understand the purpose and the meaning of all these. Of what they so-called L-I-F-E…

There are those people who have crossed my life, some are still in it while others just vanished similar to a lost balloon as the poem I once made, modifies. But all of them, regardless of how they treated me in the past and how they’re still treating me as of this moment, is an inch of a blessing.. I may not sound as gratified as I really am, but I know deep inside, am trying to thank all of them in silence. They’re my sunscreen. Life without them could be nothing but more hellacious than this world could ever offer. Maybe I’m just too glad they entered the orbit of my world….

Experiences in life are the second main thing. For others, it’s as bare as things they’ve done or what happened to them in a daily basis. But for me, it is what defines me… Everything I do is a reflection of me and every word I utter leaves a distinction of who I really am. Strident but deep. Explicit yet refined… Spirited however anxious… Wild but innocent. We execute things for a reason. And we are responsible to all of that. Every performance has an audience and every stroke has an impacting result. We are judged the way we want to be judged.
A lot of individuals, may it be a friend or someone who barely know my name, judge me cruelly. For all the things that came my way before, I know I won’t let anyone read me just like an open book…

Perhaps what I am simply trying to impart here is the fact that I hate being judged without enough determinable basis. But that point of anger will do no effect on people who never ceases to demean others. Maybe it’s their defense mechanism to cover up their millions of insecurities. And I mean MILLIONS for that matter. Change is far from reality holding on to that “claptrap idea” that putting other people down will somehow raise them up… I have no recourse but listen to them instead.

Nothing and no one can stop me from doing what I wanna do inspite of criticism and denigration I’ve been getting. I live my life as I want it to and I know that in every step, whatever I do, may it be good or bad, I am the one accountable when I come across the real judgment, with the “real” judge, the greatest man up there…+

Holding back hurts...

Written : 18 July 2009


What the hell are you doing inside a relationship when you’re just too scared to get hurt? Unfair lang yun sa next partner mo. And I mean it! Pwede ring “unpair” (meaning hindi match)... If you’re going to “nurse” your wounded, open-stabbed heart, make sure you are not in a commitment because believe me, no matter how you keep on denying it perhaps unconsciously, you’ll be too blind and insensitive making yourself selfish and too harsh and careless (whisper) on your mate’s feelings.

They say the easiest way to get over someone is to love another. An old adage I have learned to disagree upon! Ooops, don’t get me wrong. This girl’s not saying that you have to imprison yourself with the past, or focus on what has long been gone. What I’m just trying to pinpoint here is that open new possibilities, extend boundaries, enjoy life, but don’t enter another relationship, at least not very soon… Sometimes driving too fast might hurt you more than you could ever imagined...(What’s worse, you worn out your seatbelt!) And never open reasons for you to hurt somebody by making yourself believe that you’ve already moved on and time to have a new partner (hayyy, rebound). At the end of the night, you’ll just fall asleep without even realizing the truth. (and sino niloko mo? Loser!)

I have this special bond with someone so held back (not brokeback ah.. ) I always have to tell him what to do, what a girl wants, what a girl needs, (whatever makes me happy sets you free, ika nga ni Christina Aguilera..) and what’s so annoying is that I know he pretty much know what to do. He just refuses doing it.. And I think I knew the answer.. “He’s just not ready yet to fall in the bait of that thing called “love” where he was once trapped in…” Ouch!! Have you ever had a partner who never really know how to fight for what he feels? While you’re a one careless bloody injured fellow who keeps on fighting against the rages of everything and everyone, there he goes, trying to stay composed and didn’t really care how much you’ve hurt. All he cares for is his “heart well hidden and his undemolished ego”. Sounds bitter ah!

You know how you hurt people by not giving your 100%. Especially when your partner does and of course, he/she expects to receive the same amount of love from you, too. In love, non-negotiable ang 01-99%. Always everything, always what you can at your best, and not just what you can as of this moment. Love is not just a mere learning process. It’s a feeling, an emotion. It’s not something to be trained, nor something to be taught of. It may be expanded progressively or regressively but should be felt at hand. Now, if you think you’re still not that courageous enough to give your “all” without an assurance that you can receive something closer to what you’ve given and what you know you can still give, maybe you should think twice before tarnishing a possible harmonious relationship. Before it gets too worse and the next thing you know, you’re already ruining not just a probable perfect partnership, but an almost-prefect partner, as well.

Eveything in life is a choice. Whether you stay it kept to yourself or easily let go.. It’s your call. Minsan kasi, not giving everything to your partner has a very deep, excruciating reason behind. Rather than risk what we already have for something greater, we are trying to fit in to what’s constant, we tend to be contented with certainty in fear of making a wrong choice, and so we prefer to be safe. “Comfort zone” ang tawag dun. But you know guys, you have to realize that change is inevitable. And the thing to be changed is not the actual and only option you can make. Not changing at all is already a choice, a more risky one. Fear is everywhere and being spared from the pain by depriving yourself of your “absolute right” to be happy is much painful. It is never a mistake to try entering another relationship (as all of us hope for a newer, fresher and better love story after a messed up one). But not until you can give your whole heart and mind into it. Not until you’re prepared to relinquish every part of you without even having a single amount of panic that you might not be compensated enough, or might lose everything you’ve invested in just a blast. However, you still have a choice. If you think you can’t do all the necessary requirements in entering a new relationship, then DON’T. If something whispers within you everytime you try to hold somebody’s hand, or in the attempt of saying those three magical words I-LOVE-YOU, by all means, DON’T. If you’re not yet generous enough to give all that is needed to make your partner happy and satisfied, DON’T.

When all of those holding back points to a particular direction and warnings seems to be clearer than crystal, it only summarizes one thing; THINGS ARE NOT YET READY. And the million dollar question on how you can identify if the healing process had arrived safe to its finish line? Maybe that four-letter word significant element of life can tell… and it spelled T-I-M-E…

Sin Apprehension

Written : 16 April 2009

Occurrence transform depending on how we exist. Obstacles change depending on how we take them. And life varies depending on how we choose to live.

God made everyone equal in his own way and understanding. And he basically created us whole. With heart not only to feel the pain but happiness as well, and with mind to decide whatever we think is the rightest thing to do with what he has given us.
Maybe one argument in the idea of God giving us almost everything is, we scarcely know how to take “good” use of them. I specifically applied the word “good” instead of “best” to come up with the thought that he never demanded us to give our best. Because for him, “good” seems to be always enough. Already a superlative. Excellent in a manner. But how are we to know if we are using God’s gifts to us purposely, and in a “good” way?

First, it must be something from the heart. A decision made up merely by brain is more likely to cracked up and turned out to be gibberish. So cerebral and logically-based… He has made “heart” the last thing to stop before we die, so we can decide things properly, serving its purpose as having the final say in everything. Secondly, it should hurt no one. Or if ever there’s any who’ll be inevitable to be harmed, it should be unintended. Shallow wounds are still wounds but easier to heal than a wound deliberately done. They heal for years,and sometimes, take forever…

What’s the bottom line of all these?

Just one thing…

Think it over before doing something. God created us complete despite the fact that he expects less because humans are permissible sinners. He knows we can take hold every minute and praise and thank him all our lives but can never be enough unless you’ve proven your spotless purpose in anything you do. Because at the end of it all, your game will be determined with how you played it. Your crimes, by how you premeditatively did it. And if in everything you do, hurting other people is unavoidable, at the very least, be very hesitant to do so.

One wrong step can change someone else’s life in an instance. Or maybe your own. It will just be too fortunate if what we’ve decided for to take is worth all the possible sinning we can commit in the process…

Real Players

Written : 24 February 2009


Perhaps one of the greatest mistakes you can ever make and after the long run, learn and accept in life is to incessantly fear you will make one. 


I am always fond of testing my capability. I have been an assessor of myself, sometimes criticize, but most of the time encourage. I believe that even if everybody else around throw negative reprimand against me, I won’t hold back… Why would I? As long as I trust I can do it, no amount of denigration can stop me or turn me into a sinister…
Never had a night that I fell asleep without talking to myself. Judgment of others is just too little to stain a very essential spirit inside me — my character. And at the end of the day, the real and ultimate judge would be no one else but your own self.

I’ve been rejected a million times, from the smallest contest to a spectacular competition. But those rejections never came up to my head as a thing to destroy me. I know that whatever happens you must not give up on your own ability and what you can do. Life, regardless of how long will it be depends only on how you make it more meaningful. You can abbreviate it or otherwise, expand it. I prefer the latter one... It’s my commitment to myself.

So many people I’ve encountered, some I’ve got the privilege to know deeply, and some just passing by along me loses hope long before life gave up on them. They died many times before their deaths… My prayers are for them though I don’t think I’m in the position to lay judgment on them. They decide them for themselves. I just felt sorry not knowing they can still do so much with their lives… I never want to be in such despair. My life will not be permanently stagnant. My life will vary according to how I choose it to flow better than anyone expect it to. I’m doing something for myself… Part of me are made by words from people around me. But that’s not entirely my whole. I refused to be a product of somebody else’s vision of what they wish to be for their own selves. I am a creation of myself.

And whenever critics once again chuck several pieces of unseemly words against me, most are rude and indecorous, some are fake and others with which I still have to examine a million fold its sincerity, who the hell cares? I have been at ease with myself even before someone ever learned they can elevate themselves by putting me down. I had fears. Everyone has. As of now, I still have a lot of them. But I develop more courage with every time I feel scared. For only in doing those things you’re afraid of, enters courage. You can never have bravery if you don’t have something to fear…

And who has the guts to question me of my way of conquering and surviving life? I have the power over nothing but myself... Right now, I’m still battling with insecurities, uncertainties and very so often, fear. But I’m very much eager to gamble once again, always been willing to go and take my chance again.

As a final cut, in this game called life real players take part — chances maybe slim or stout. All you have to do is partake… because in the end of it all, win or lose, you may not have took home the price but in its place you’ll be grasping your head high discerning for yourself that you never quit a match wherein far beyond easier to give up than be wounded and fight…

Breathless

Written : 15 December 2008

Wasn’t just an ordinary day
When this heart finally felt happy & complete?
No words so perfect for me to convey
The prize of you never to forfeit.

Love’s just a mere journey
Hold or let go, either sink or swim
But God’s so great for giving me
Priceless possession more than a dream.

Distance & miles apart were enemies
Try to succumb to this bitter fate
Waited long enough to came through this,
Then all of a sudden, everything’s great.

You never know how much nor how deep
My passion for you that’s never unreal
Everlasting joy I’ll forever keep
That’s just so right and best to reveal.

Hold my hand ‘till the end of this fight
Since the start I knew you were the one
In a love so blind you’ve given me sight
To see the glory of morning and beauty of the sun.

This vow I’ll make might touch your heart
For it’s the truest thing my lips can ever say,
Through the test of everything, our ways will never part
As long as the world still promises a day.

All my days you’re the one I only lived for
Without you in my life I’d rather die instead.
So when someone tells you I don’t love you anymore
Its’ as good as saying that I’m already dead.

Only human...

Written : 29 August 2008

Human gets tired of everything. Only God never get weary of the whole thing. Maybe for a simple reason of him being a creator, he will forever appreciate and enjoy the beauty of the world. However, we otherwise are the exact opposite. We often get exhausted, we are always worn out for so many apparent and noticeable causes….So perceptible yet unclear…

When I finally embrace my self-made fate, I could hardly believe I was there. My mind has brought me into a different kind of journey. Far beyond difficult than what I have used to grown up with. But inspite of all that had happened in the past, all the dreams splintered, imaginations of the future smashed into smithereens, I, at rest, still have the very nerve to hold his hand and spoke right before his lips, “I’m still with you…” Perhaps, a valiant move, an heroic act in layman’s terms, or just a mere idiocy on my part. Or maybe I wasn’t a fool after all. I just allowed myself to be used for a long time for other people’s sake even if it means making my life miserable than ever. But still I permitted it to happen. Can anybody here blame me for being selfless? Is it a sin to think more of another soul more than you could ever think of your own self? I doubt somebody would answer me what I want to hear. Or otherwise think I’m brainless….

I became a part of his life., a huge fraction of it, I may say.. So vague to even possess an ability to prefigure his future, whether to raise him up or shrug him down and spend my whole life destroying his.

I knew myself as someone temporary. A girl so nominal. A momentary person with nothing to think about but now.. However, no matter how I try to put myself on top priority, it seems to be not enough for me. And so, I can definitely pronounce at this instant, that I’ve put happiness of majority first than my own.. Coming across so as to what the results of my decision so far, I can say that I have picked the right choices of everything… And I know I will never regret a single bit of my after thought…

And now that I’m here again. Same old me, same old occurrence, similar reactions from the viewers of my so-called life story. Hope everyone can forgive me from doing this. From being stupid in the name of great courage and strong disposition. I just pray that each one of you, who have played a gigantic role in my life, have somehow be trained to understand, accept with eyes wide open that I’m doing all of these not just for myself, in fact, the other way around. I just hate seeing another soul cry. Most especially when that same soul is the one who spins my entire world and simultaneously, willing to give everything just to prevent me from that river of tears. Isn’t it so ironic that the person who has the ability to stop you from crying is exactly the very person who makes you cry? I pray that in time, and I’m sure it’ll come, people around me will stop blaming and judging me. Surprisingly, they will realize how this whole event and scenario have helped me grew as a person not just with logical mind but also a woman with a huge heart, and affirm these words – “Des, I think you’re right...”

A Reverie

Written : 01 June 2008

Last night, I dreamt I got sick…

I was bed-ridden for an accident I can’t even recall had happened once in me.… Worse than ever, pain is excruciating that I can’t move any part of my body. To shift my lips is an agony and to stand up is like a death for me. Even smile refused to visit me… My condition was a doomsday, hopeless. I was a picture of a complete melancholy. A woman in absolute misery.
Every single individual in the family gave up on persuading me. They got tired of offering hopes or perhaps just simply running out of it, too. I hardly recognize them either for even memory ran away from me. Nothing’s left for a deprived girl like me. Everything has gone. Each night I only pray for one thing - for all of these to just stop in a blast, that in a snap of a finger everything will be vanished, and I will be gratefully happy to evaporate in the air. But God seems to be really punishing me. He wanted me to suffer by never granting my request. So day by day I live life longer and longer, and more torturing than ever. If only God would take away my breath soon, I’d be the happiest person to die. And I will even celebrate with joy in front of my death...

Family nor friends were not welcome in my place. I never want anyone to see me like this. I don’t wanna even see my own self in the first place. People began to get scared of me and the whole world suddenly just hates me. Perhaps they fervently wish that I never existed, literally, at all.

Until one day…

One moment I never thought would still happen. A man came to my door. It was a soft noise coming from a man, simply well-dressed, modest and humble-looking. He arrived silent but his presence astounded me. I’ve been staring at him as he entered the door. It’s as if I knew him for a long time, as if he became a huge part of my life. Watching him slowly pulling out things inside his bag sluggishly wonders me.. What he’s doing annoys me and at one fell swoop, panic me. Feels like I’m a criminal waiting for the final verdict. From afar, I’ve been magnifying every single detail of him, trying to wake up my long dead memory. The first few items were just ordinary papers, hand-written legibly. Then without saying word, he handed me those papers giving a sign to read them. I can’t say "no" as if I was hypnotized.

The opening line was enormously unfamiliar to me. I told him what’s his point of all these mess and waste of time? Again, he awarded me a signal to continue reading… Then, the last part of the letter had given me a bit of a reminiscence. It was like my words… He still allowed me to study those other paraphernalia. It was really hard for I never had an idea what his intentions were. Where did he get his guts to go there where everybody else never dare to? Little by little I’m looking at him not by my eyes for I really can’t identify him visually, but by heart. Eyes can reject things to see, but heart never refuses to feel… And could he be someone special???

Gradually, I’m beginning to recall the words. Each single sentence seems to connote something extraordinary. Every line appears to have their own story to tell. It started to make me believe but still don’t want to convince myself that it’s true… That someone really had become brave and patiently helped me to reflex my memory for the first time since I got sick.

He ended the puzzle by putting out something really believable and convincing, and real… A colored pictures of me with him… At last, he opened his lips. He started enlightening me by memory. He’s telling it by details like a mother telling fairy tale stories to her child. I was really amused on how he remembered all of that.

Finally, I was awaken by the fact that love shakes the memory surprisingly. That heart, no matter how long it had been dormant, can move the mind and stimulate the mentality of a person. And no doubt that he is the one I have loved before even if I can’t remember anything, and still loving him although I forgot how to love again, and will continue to love him for no matter how clueless my mind can be, my heart will surely commit to memory who it wants to be with…

Touch Down

Written: 25 May 2008

It was one Monday morning when I was scheduled for my 1st job interview, which I was fortunately hired and until now the same company I’ve been working at…

The first few minutes of the “encounter” , though a little shaky is somehow remarkable to me as the interviewer provided questions quite parallel to tell-me-about-yourself, likes and dislikes, attitudes when it comes to public relations and stuffs that almost made me believe I was just filling up pink barbie slambook during elementary days.

Me: I am blah blah blah……. I like people who … etc..

I thought this interview and everything was just as shallow as the person next to me.. Until the final question have been asked…

Interviewer: Name three things you always have in your bag and their relevance to your personality.

Me: That made me count huh.. (‘coz everything in my bag is of value to me and each of them speaks of me. But I think the top 3 would be MIRROR, CELLPHONE and ROSARY.

Interviewer: That’s interesting. But why them?

Me: MIRROR because as they say, you feel good when you know you look good. And seeing yourself often is not a bad idea, after all. For me, it serves as a reminder that you still look good. And unconsciously, everything just follows. It’s my responsible to myself.

The second one is my CELLPHONE. Simply can’t live without it. With my routine and lifestyle and interests, I never want people around me went on scratching their heads while looking for me the whole day. I always want my loved ones to know where I’m at and assure them what’s happening to me and if I am still ok. It’s my responsibility to my loved ones.

The last and the most important thing would be the ROSARY. Wherever I go, no matter how risky and uncertain my trip is. I always feel at ease knowing I have GOD with me. It’s my spiritual duty and indeed a responsibility to GOD.

After my long response to her question, she hurriedly assessed and asked me how soon can I report to office. Undoubtingly, without a single hesitation, I replied, “as soon as now, ma’am”. While walking away from the office which I knew I have to learn to deal with onwards, I suddenly realize how that final stretch won me a job. As she said, “responsibility” is the attitude that reflects on me with that last part of the interview.

By that experience I have contemplated after thoughts… Since day 1 of our stay here in earth, we already have responsibilities. May it be hard, or easy as A-B-C, we all have it. Responsibility as a daughter/son, as a citizen, as a student, as a friend, as an employee, as a parent, as a grandparent. Regardless of how heavy or trivial our duties are, all we have to do is attend to it all the time. Fill your life with actions rather than being at rest. We all are held responsible. Not just on what we do, but on what we do not do, as well.