Our Little Angel, Baby Angelo...

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August 08, 2010, Sunday morning, a call from my brother in-law made us tap our feet in excitement. Maybe a natural feeling caused by a sudden addition to a family member. Babies are life’s way of showing us that the world is an unending cycle and we should always go on. Every birth is a blessing. A potentiality of a grandeur dream to realize for the family and for his own. It was an afternoon celebration which turned out to be a hurting obstacle that will test the family. A grim truth of the new-born baby having birth defect has shaken all of our intense feeling of enthusiasm and thrill. Still has a reason to celebrate, I anticipated. At least he came out of this world alive. And making him live normally can be a venture, a risk where we could win or lose. But as a positive outsider looking in, at least we were given a stout chance to bet.

The first thing I did was search for the answers. How will it be cured? How long will it take for him to be like any other normal baby?

"What is imperforate anus and how was it treated?"

“Imperforate anus: A congenital malformation (a birth defect) in which the rectum is a blind alley (a cul-de-sac) and there is no anus. The anus is imperforate in the sense that the normal perforation we call the anus is absent. The end of the intestinal tract has not made its way through the skin in the perineal area. Imperforate anus occurs in 1 in about 5,000 newborn babies. It has to be corrected by surgery. Imperforate anus is also known as anal atresia. “Surgical treatment of infants with imperforate anus depends upon the severity of the condition. With a high imperforate anus, a colostomy (to divert the path of stool) is usually done. The infant with a high lesion is therefore given time to grow until definitive repair can be done with a pull-through operation (in which the rectum is "pulled down" and sewn into a newly-made anal opening in the perineum). After surgery, the newly-formed anus needs to be dilated regularly for several months until a soft, mature scar is obtained. The colostomy can then be closed.”

After reading it, I didn’t know how to react. I know it will require long treatment, patience, and will call for so much in terms of financial. For a moment, the whole family was shocked. Inspite this, we never want a newborn baby be a doomsday to everyone. It was supposed to be a happy merriment. A celebration of birth and from then on we tried to think of all the positive things and willingly offer any kind of support we can provide our youngest baby. I never saw my nephew @ the hospital for he stayed at the I.C.U. after doctors detected his birth defect.

“He has down syndrome.”

This next revelation from my sister really injured me. I have a little knowledge about this defect but I know it’s something not stereotypically normal. But like our new baby’s first perceived deficiency, we accepted it as a challenge. As what I always tell myself, “this too shall pass”. I, personally searched how to cope and to take care of a down baby. I want to make sure that I’ll do the right approach of taking care of him soon as he gets out of the ICU. As I scrolled down the net about this syndrome, my eyes passed by a prayer-like creed. It was called a “CREED OF BABIES WITH DOWN SYNDROME”. And until now, reading this always leaves me teary-eyed.

Creed of Babies with Down Syndrome

My face may be different

But my feelings the same

I laugh and cry

And I take pride in my gains.

I was sent here among you

To teach you to love

As God in the heavens

looks down from above.

To Him I'm no different

His love knows no bounds.

It's those here among you

In cities and towns

that judge me by standards

That man has imparted

But this family I've chosen

Will help me get started.

For I'm one of the children

so special and few

That came here to learn

The same lessons as you.

That love is acceptance

it must come from the heart

We all have the same purpose

Though not the same start.

The Lord gave me life

To live and embrace

And I'll do it as you do

But at my own pace.

We were very well prepared to welcome him and to let him feel our love soon as we were allowed to see him at the ICU which became his home for 5 days. I could just imagine his condition inside the NICU (Nursery Intensive Care Unit), where he was injected with a lot of syringe, supported with masses of gadgets which makes it even harder for him to move even a bit, slotting in pipe in any part of his tiny, semi-developed body when during these times, he needs to be held by his mother’s arms, being carried by excited and overwhelming relatives who’ll start giving petnames according to different funny opinions and bases. Sometimes, I can’t help but cry thinking that he was in piercing pain all this time.

The whole family patiently waited for a couple of days for “Baby Angelo” to be stable enough to grip the colostomy operation, only the first of three operations he has to undergo to normalize his bowel excretion. The name Angelo was given by his dad as my sister told us, because he was indeed an angel. A heaven-sent. A special gift from God.

August 11, when baby Angelo survived the very crucial operation. Being very nervous, we all waited for the result and we’re so lucky that he survived. He is a fighter! Being a 3-day old to carry on after the surgery is truly a sign of courage and audacity. We all slept well that night. A little too comforted and thankful for the completion of the procedure our new baby had been able to conquer.

August 13, his 2nd day after the operation. The day that started so light yet ended so heavy. I dropped by the house that Friday morning to fix myself going to work after sleeping with my other sister’s room at Delos Santos Hospital from where she was confined. That time I felt God is really putting his hands on us again. From one hospital to another, if there’s one thing I truly realize about this whole incident is the fact that we learned to be appreciative of everything we have, may it be people around us or even things that we possess that time. After taking my lunch that day, my father called my office asking me to take a leave that afternoon because we have to rush in to the hospital for my nephew is being revived that moment. I hurriedly asked my boss of an emergency leave which he courteously granted. Right away I went home to pick them up so we could all go to the hospital. Inside the cab, we already felt something’s wrong, something’s heavy. Something is really not ok. A sudden stop of the taxi driver woke up my sanity, only then have I realized that mama, my sister and I were already crying without even knowing the very reason why… Scampering into the hospital, my brother in-law’s sister already came to hug my sister who is already being hysterical that time. Baby Angelo is gone.. Gone too soon… First I asked God, does baby Angelo deserve these? Was it really fair to claim him from us rapidly without giving us a chance to even glance at him? The hospital has been manually pumping him since 6 am. From that moment ‘til 1:47 where his heartbeat stopped, he was struggling, fighting. He is fighting because he knew very well that we wanted him to stay. He is fighting for us… Up to his last breath, he wanted to survive for us just like the operation he successfully overcame two days ago. 

Exactly a week after he was delivered by my sister on this earth, we waved our last fleeting look at him on his burial. Goodbyes are always painful. How weird for me to think that some people grieve for a loved one’s death because they can’t let go of the memories left to them. But for me, pain comes from the thought that we were never given the chance to create wonderful memories together. We were somehow deprived of could have been a little joy. He served as a hope for us, a positive baby who became so brave for all of us. Why him? Why soon? I think he still has to contribute to our family’s solidarity, to our lifestyles and to our lives as a family and maybe individually. However, who am I to question God’s plans for us, for baby Angelo?

That week was one of the heaviest 7 days of my life. And now after a couple of days, we still remember him. We will forever remember him. After everything, I still thank God that he let us borrow his angel, Baby Angelo. Though he got him from us so soon, lived only a couple of days, I am very certain that he made Baby Angelo an instrument of patience, generosity, acceptance and unconditional love.

Baby Angelo may never had the chance to play here on earth, I’m already relieved knowing that he is now playing in heaven where there’s no longer pain and suffering and with the best company of all, GOD surrounded by all the angels like him.